Rest
You see, in the year 325, the Council of Nicaea
(an accepted body of theologians that canonized what most refer to today as the
Christian religion) hadn’t taken into account - for easy math, I'm going to wrongly assume - that a year is actually about
365.242 days, which is 8765.81 hours, which happens to be 525,949 minutes, just
for fun. What that means is that .242 of a day per year would overlap the
following year by exactly that much of a day, or, for more easy math, 5.808 hours…
or, just for fun, 348.48 minutes. International institutions, such as the
United Nations and the Universal Postal Union, one day, were obviously going to
need a standardized calendar, so the Roman Catholic Church, which originated as
the Holy Roman Empire from the time of Emperor Constantine (306 to 337), made
it so, as I said above, in 1582.
There is a lot of speculation, but we’ll never
truly know for sure, about why Constantine changed the official faith of the
Roman Empire, whether he was besotted by his mother, who’s faith was
Christianity, or whether he felt that his good fortune was due to his belief in
the One True God… um, which to me is confusing as a Jew, since we are talking
about Christianity here. I mean, Yeshu (Jesus) is kind of worshipped as God in
Christianity, you know… oh, Christ: the word in Greek for anointed one, which
comes directly from the Hebrew word: Mashiakh, of the same (literal) meaning
(but with no philosophical connection in terms of a shared theological entity),
might be rolling in his grave, that is if he hadn't left it... on Easter, I
think.
Anyways, what we do know about Constantine is
not why he subjected his empire to Christianity, but how. Constantine gave
great amounts of support to the Church in wealth and property, built many
public structures to commemorate the Church, gave tax exemptions and special
privileges to Church clergy, and also promoted these clergy members to high
ranking positions. If you can imagine, it must have been all-the-rage at the
time to be seen as a member of the Church.
So, why do I consider my life to be so
fabulosus, fabled, and steeped in mythos? Let’s talk about Noakh, which happens
to be the parsha of the week. The word Noakh comes from the Hebrew word
Menukha, which actually means ‘rest.’ It doesn’t really seem like Noakh had a
very restful life, I mean he spent 120 years building the Tevah (loosely
translated as ‘Ark,’ but what really means something more akin to, ‘box that
protects / saves from water’). Noakh worked his tukhas off… So, why was his
name “Rest” then? As it turns out, Noakh invented the plow, the hoe, the
shovel, and all kinds of digging tools for harvesting and planting that made
everyone else’s work much easier, giving all of ‘them’ more rest. This is
strange, since we all know Noakh best for a form of carpentry to build a large water
resistant box out of, arguably, Gopher wood, reeds, or a bird’s nest to protect
the earth’s variety of land dwelling creatures from the great flood caused by
40 days of rain.
Yeah, why 40…, right? Well, we’ll begin with
this: The parsha states that the earth was corrupted in front of God, and that
it was filled with robbery (gezel in Hebrew). The people of the time were full
of bad character traits, things like murder, etc…, but robbery was singled out.
So, as it turns out, the numerical equivalence of the word gezel is 40, which
is strange, since just this week (remember, Parshat Noakh) I truly felt a robbery that I have been experiencing
since my father lost his job by corporate downsizing, contracted cancer, and
died, leaving my mother with half of a wit, no place to store it, and eventually
causing her demise, as well… but, it seems, I am complaining again… Think
blessings, blessings, blessings…
Life is so, so… awesome!! I am steadily
employed at my day job, building websites and writing cool stuff for them! I
was asked recently to write some marketing collateral for the food website and
I gotta tell ya, I get so hungry writing this stuff!! Check this out: Easy,
delicious, and versatile, Aunt Berta’s Honey Mustard Vinaigrette is perfect for
dipping bread in or a great all-purpose dressing for almost any salad, tossed
green or otherwise. The pleasing sharpness of mustard, combined with the smooth
sweetness of natural honey, makes it a good match for slightly bitter greens,
such as chicory, radicchio, escarole, or Belgian endive.... You get the idea...
You know what? I’m not really hungry, I'm tired;
I think I need a rest… And besides, I have to get busy with a painting that
seems to be beckoning to me from across the studio…
Shabbat Shalom!!
