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Much has happened, most of which having disappeared unceremoniously into the fourth dimension. My last post was months ago, before I lost my day job working for the German factory, advertising their gas systems and baked goods to the world. It was before my night job started its journey on 'its' self-absorbed path to supernova, eclipsing my day job with naked abandon and a flick of a finger. It was before my youngest left on his cosmic journey to illuminate the dark, magical corners of his mind, while testing his body's limits, and then pushing those limits beyond the conceivable with what he had found lurking there. It was even before a forbidden, but courageous creature followed us home one night, making his way into our lives and becoming fat. But, was it actually courage that this creature possessed, or was it a lack of sense as a 'lack of sense' can sometimes make us believe? Most likely, this forbidden creature followed us home that evening out of madness, brewed and fermented upon the streets, as sure as your continued foray into this post of the lost pieces shall be. Buckle up.
The war was over. After landing "between rockets into a mine field of ideas, of philosophies, of religions and cultures," life went on in our little, kaleidoscope corner of the world. There were 5 days of waking to the buzzer next to my head, slogging to the day job at the German's, and unsuccessfully hashing out the constant incongruity that grew from the cracks and corners there. My night job would continue to haunt me during my waking hours, feeding the creation fire, and then my dreams would be rudely interrupted by the buzzer next to my head. Day 6 would be a relief of cosmic proportions, usually starting with a long bike ride through the wilderness and ending with a thorough house cleaning to prepare for Day 7. The circle of monotony was whole and complete, but only complete like an American donut; with a hole in the middle.
Some of you may know of my two dogs, Dude and Bongo, who until recently also had a hole in the middle. Since my black dog, Dude, has a white spot and my white dog, Bongo, has a black spot, I always fancied the idea that they were a kind of manifestation of the logo on my first surf board, a Yin & Yang symbol. As a child I even custom cut and fit the grip tape on my skateboard into a Yin & Yang. I loved it, you know, the whole idea of duality continually pulling at the world, a cosmic fight between good and evil with mortals like you and me sucking up the flotsam and jetsam, to maybe attain a better vantage point to view our lives from. More recently I have become aware that the concept of duality is flawed, since in order to make it work in the first place, it needs a Creator to kick start the whole thing. And, likewise, the Yin-&-Yang of Dude and Bongo wasn’t whole. It, too, had an imperceptible hole that was only visible once it had been filled by the most unlikely of creatures.
Max, the cat, careened from across the street and out of nowhere, ran up to the dogs, and scared their collective spots right off. Normally, Dude hunts cats as a pastime and Bongo bounces around for the ride. This time it was both of the dog's turns to leap into the air, looking foolish and hoping the other dogs in the neighborhood hadn't seen. After assaulting the dogs, Max just yawned and trotted up to my wife, who is horribly allergic to cats. Both dogs recovered their senses, mid-air, and attempted to pursue Max, but I held them back. My wife then had a turn to leap into the air, as she yelled over to me that the cat was insane, and that something was terribly wrong with its brain! Then it followed us home. Now, every night, with Dude's leash in my left hand, Bongo's in my right, we walk the streets at night and Max the cat darts in and out, brushing our feet with its tail as it repeatedly swooshes past, turns, and then flops onto its back sporting a Cheshire grin. The cat is definitely mad (his full name 'is' Mad Max), and I now understand that a plain, dualistic world view makes no sense at all.
Take my youngest son's current undertaking for example. He's in the IDF. He's a soldier with a really big gun that he brings home with him on the weekends. He was always a very sensitive boy, with emotions like a bull's-eye painted upon his chest. From his experience with such things, and after he began to grow into the giant that he is today, back in high school, he took it upon himself to protect the younger kids from bullies. I was proud then, and I'm even more proud now. He's a very emotional young man, innocent in so many ways, yet holding such power and integrity… I am so, so proud of his accomplishments. How can it be that this could be so? After all, we lived in America, the land of the free and home of the brave. We had everything and my son could have grown up to be anything he wanted, but we hauled him off to the Middle East in order to be a soldier on the frontline against terror (albeit, only as an important step and not as a final destination…). Maybe, the answer is this: Back in the Old Country, we lived in a place that many refer to as paradise, in Boulder, Colorado. When we moved from America to Israel, my wife was even quoted in an interview in the local paper when she said, "We are moving from Paradise to the Promised Land." I think this quote about covers it, and as a bonus, it is also why duality doesn’t work: Duality is just too simple, too boxed in, too plain. The truth is big, out there, and never what it seems…
It's all about the truth, but truth is veiled behind so many, many layers of everything from opinion to ego, from color to hue, and from value to grey-scale. Truth is an enigma in this day and age. Ultimately, the 'only' truth we can possibly know and even attempt to understand is birth… and death, the entrance and exit points to this world. These are the things of power, of lasting truth, of wisdom in the world. The moments between are only stories to pass the time, to build the world with. The moments between define the world we call real, but are really only just fiction bouncing off the walls of our finite universe. The truth lies beyond our veiled minds and souls, waiting for science to produce facts that undeniably establish said truth as fact. We are afloat in the cosmos, but… thank God... we are alive!
I hope to see you all at the group exhibition that will open next week on Monday, the 2nd of February at the University of Tel Aviv (the show is up all month). If not (or for more information), then please visit me online at www.doronoll.com or on Facebook at just plain 'doronoll.'
Looking forward to seeing / hearing from you all soon!